Princesses and Poppets

Hello everyone. I hear that winter in the U.S. is raging and that even Texas has had several snow days; meanwhile, I’m still burning up in Rwanda. It’s been strange to hear about the cold and see pictures of friends and family in big winter jackets. It makes me very aware of just how far away I am, although I can’t say I miss the cold. 

Life seems to be passing at light-speed. I never have free time and have gotten really behind on messages and emails. I also consistently have a baby on my hip and two or three children pulling on my dress. I think my body is in the best shape of my life just from lifting and running after children all day. A week ago, I actually won a foot race against some of my older girls and I’m getting better and better at “football”. 

If I’m going to be perfectly honest though, I’ll admit I’m a bit run down at the moment. I’ve been working every day from 5:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. and my only break is six hours on Friday afternoons. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been giving so much of myself that there isn’t much left. It’s bothers me that I don’t feel like I can offer as much as I could when I first arrived. 

Then even though I’m working so much, I also always feel like a slacker because the sisters work longer hours than me and don’t take any breaks. Whenever I go for my break on Fridays, I actually feel sort of guilty. Every time I think that I’m too exhausted and need to ask the sisters to give me a free day every week (I think all the SLMs are technically supposed to get one, but it really just depends on your site), I’m reminded that I’m not working as hard as they are and feel like I’m not pulling my weight. It’s discouraging at times but I’ve been praying about Mother Teresa’s quote: “I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no more hurt, only more love.” Every day I’m just trying to love more.

Luckily, there is a lot to love about my new site. The kids are absolutely amazing and I’m definitely starting to feel at home. 

When I first arrived, they threw me in with the 3 year olds in the mornings after I’ve gotten all the girls ready for school. At first, I thought working with the 3 year olds was a torture specifically designed for me. They all just cried and hit each other. I really love children but I had never really been around 45 three year olds at one time. It was very overwhelming. One of the boys, Derek, had a very special skill of being able to pinch the other children in the eyes. I’ve never seen that done and I have two brothers. Another child, Oxen, routinely says (in Kinyarwanda) “I will accuse you to my father and he will beat you!” 

I really wasn’t sure how to care for the children at first, but now I can clearly see God’s graces at work. I started to figure out how to organize and calm them and have begun to learn each of their personalities. I now feel very comfortable with them and time with my nursery class is one of my favorite times of the day. 

Some of the kids have some very sad situations. Derek, my little eye-pincher, lost his mother in childbirth. He was extremely aggressive when he first arrived, but after I heard about his mother I decided to hold him for about 20 minutes a day. He was so angry and mean-spirited when he first arrived so I was shocked the first time I tried to hold him. He immediately nuzzled his head against my neck and began sucking his thumb. The other teachers were amazed and so now we take turns holding him and he is beginning to have excellent behavior. He hasn’t pinched anyone in about a week and seems much happier.

My new house where I live with the girls

Another special case is my good friend Shama (pronounced Shay-mah). I’m not quite sure what Shama’s situation is, but I do know he is at least developmentally delayed. I really love kids with special needs, so I just wish we had some of the programs in Rwanda that public schools offer in the U.S. 

Shama does not speak although he likes to talk gibberish and seems to be in his own world most of the time. He is on the smaller side of the kids in the class but will go up to the biggest and strongest kids and start fights. He reminds me of a small dog that thinks it’s a german shepherd. We have this old Cabbage Patch doll with red hair that someone must have donated years ago and he loves that poppet. He holds it all day and won’t let the other kids play with it, so I thought he had a special attachment to that doll. Then this week we brought some new toys in including an Ariel the Little Mermaid poppet (also a red head). He actually threw his Cabbage Patch doll in order to get to the new redheaded doll more quickly.  

He constantly keeps me laughing and has really become my little baby. He only lets me hold him and, for that matter, forces me hold him most of the day. Sometimes this causes interesting situations.

The other day I was pouring some milk to give the kids and had them all sitting down at their seats. Shama was refusing to sit and kept coming up and licking the cups I was pouring the milk into. I kept having to chastise him and would shoo him over to his seat. Each time I shooed him away, his feelings would get hurt and he would begin sobbing. Then, I guess, he would realize he was sobbing. Since I’m the only person he allows to comfort him when he is sobbing, he would begin frantically searching the room for me until he found me (I never moved positions) and would run towards me. I honestly believe he forgot each time that I was the one who made him cry in the first place. Then, I would then have to stop pouring the milk and comfort him. After that, he would feel better and realize he was by the milk table and start licking all the cups, so I would shoo him to his seat. This little cycle must have happened 4 times in what should have been the 10 minutes it takes me to pour the milk. 

So I really love the kids in my class, but my main job is spending time being the house mother for the girls and I am really loving that job. Many of the girls call me “Momma” or “Ineza.” These girls keep me very busy but they are just so funny and lovable. 

They are always telling me that I am “soooooo beauty”… except for my nose. I guess I have the exact opposite of an African nose and the girls are very vocal about their disapproval. They are constantly asking where “such a nose came from.” When I explain that my family origins are from the Mediterranean and I have a very typical nose from that region, they just frown and shake their heads. So, the girls keep me laughing and keep me humble. 

My work ethic is improving even by their standards. At this site, we have to wash clothes by hand. If you’ve never had to hand wash your clothes in Africa, it’s actually a lot more difficult and physically taxing then you might think. I have to get three huge buckets and then go fill them with water before carrying them back to the washing site. Then I squat down and bend over the buckets for at least an hour or an hour and a half while scrubbing. We scrub the clothing with our hands and so my hands crack. My arms also have to scrub very hard so they are always sore the next day (in addition to my legs from balancing).

The first time I tried, one of the 10 year olds just shook her head and took over. Two days ago, however, I began and one of the girls who had never seen me wash before said in Kinyardwanda “I want to see the Mzungu do this.” (While I can’t speak Kinyarwanda I’m beginning to really understand certain things to the chagrin of the teenagers who love when I can’t understand what they are saying). I didn’t say anything but just continued to scrub. After a few minutes she said in French: “oh. Well, she can do it” and wandered off. No laughing or disgusted taking over. I felt so triumphant! 

There have also been some upsetting experiences. Two weeks ago, one of the girls got a really bad infection in her foot. We tried to treat it with antibiotic creams and soaking the foot in warm water, but one Saturday it had become so bad that her leg was swollen and her foot seemed to be rotting. Everyone was shocked because just the evening before it looked like it was improving. I was really concerned that if we didn’t get her to the hospital she was going to lose her foot. 

Some of my little princesses

One of the sisters tried taking her to the hospital that morning, but it turned out that the hospital was closed for the day. Finally the sister decided to take care of the foot herself. We cleared all of the kids out of the room and the sister and I stayed in. The sister had some nursing experience in her background and my job was to hold Patience. We then burned a razor and a needle to sterilize them and the sister began removing the rotten parts of the girl’s foot. It was possibly one of the worst experiences of my life and I thought I was going to vomit. Patience was in so much pain. Finally I ran and put on the movie “Hairspray.” Patience immediately stopped crying and said “What is this?” The singing and dancing distracted her through most of the procedure and by the time the hospitals were open the next day, the doctors said the sister did a great job and saved Patience’s foot. She is now even running on it. Truly a miracle. 

I guess the biggest day to day challenge of this site is the teenagers. We have 10 girls between the ages of 11-14 and they are rough and very moody! Constantly there is at least one of them not speaking to me and I usually don’t know why. Last week, one of the girls refused to speak to me for three days because when I entered a room full of girls I said “hello girls” instead of “hello students.” I’m not sure how I could have been so insensitive… 

During one of my phone conversations with home, I was telling my mom about the frustrations of raising teenagers when she reminded me that I can’t possibly be cool; I’m playing the role of their mother right now, which means I am automatically really lame. I then remembered another girl who used to feel that way about her mother and apologized for pretty much everything I said and did between the ages of 12-17. 

The Gatenga boys may have stolen and fought and lied, but at least they didn’t give the silent treatment. However, I’m learning quickly and really growing in patience. 

Still, the silent treatments are not the biggest difference between my two sites. I am constantly amazed at just how much time I now spend talking about princesses. When I learned I was going to a site in Rwanda for teenage boys, princesses were the last thing on my mind, but now I spend a good portion of everyday telling princess stories or talking about how princesses might dress or behave or even princess movies I have watched. I don’t know who introduced the girls to the idea of princesses but they are obsessed. 

It’s definitely been an interesting and blessed experience. I’m coming up to the halfway point of my mission next week and can’t wait to see what the next 6 months have to offer.